Chapter 3: Finding myself (Lessons Learnt)

Hi,

I’m back!

Thank you to everyone who has read, shared, and liked my last blogs! This time I want to talk through the lessons I have learnt whilst admiring the many chapters I’ve been through.

It has been a joy receiving the feedback and responses from my previous chapters, and so I do hope it only gets better from here because today I am trying something new!

Have an idea?

Well, so far you’ve had a glance at who I am and how I perceive expectations but do you really know me? Do I really know myself?

My plan is to glue the puzzle together whilst I’m on the hunt to find the missing pieces, and the best way to do that is through my talents of writing poetry.

But first I want to wire you in a little bit more and introduce myself properly:

So for those who still don’t know me,

I have finally turned 22 today!

That means I’m supposed to have figured myself out, right?

Well no, that’s wrong!

They say you should begin your 20’s with a bang, but instead I have been trying really hard to find myself again and reach out to the connection that I had lost even way before my 20’s began. There is this constant urge fighting within me to prove myself to the world, and to myself finding these filters and shades that suit me best but guess what? The puzzle pieces are still missing - and I still don’t have a bio to sell out.

Truth is I sit heavy with my thoughts most of the time where my emotions bury me deep and eat at me, I blame myself and the world for it. For so long, I have questioned if I am the problem or if it is the world? And although I have times of doubt, I’ve come up with a conclusion…

Here are the 10 lessons I have learnt:

1. You don’t need to be understood by others, the validation is within yourself - stop people pleasing, it will never be enough ( a lot of the time this can be done subconsciously)

2. It is more than ok to have off days, times, moments, & periods - let that steam go and perhaps journal it.

3. Choose your friend circle wisely - they are the key to your success and personal growth (a small circle can be just as valuable).

4. Be self committed, self analyse and self reflect - Time to work on yourself is crucial whether it be working or enjoying your free time ( You are 100% entitled to take breaks and live a little)

5. Have a routine but be open to wild opportunities and choices.

6. Learn to forgive yourself, (and others).

7. Don’t rely on others for your own happiness and success.

8. Think before you do - observe your surroundings and learn with time.

9. Love yourself & make time for you before you can be available to somebody else.

10. You can’t please the world, so don’t be hard on yourself - being unique and different is cool, & failing and learning is ok!

These are just the few notes I have been stringing along, this might not work for the minority but I am sure it will work for the majority. I am sure you have heard these all before, but this is what I have learnt.

Now let me get into the main bit, as promised I have written a poem, Enjoy!

A New day starts, another one ends

Battling my thoughts, trying to make amends.

Finding myself, so out of reach

don’t know where to turn or who’s listening?

Lying in bed, late at night

Eyes wide open, questioning why

Hit rock bottom, the cycle repeats

They say therapy helps, that’s the key

But therapy is the thing haunting me.

Feel so distant, Feel so lost

whats the price, what’s the cost?

Trying to be understood, people please

Questioning why my mind isn’t at ease.

Learn to self love, learn to self grow

Eyes on the prize, and you will glow

“Out of sight, out of mind“

But focus on the trials and triumphs, and you will find

that healing is part of the process

it is important to feel and address

the current emotions and the stress.

No one is where they want to be

The idea is to study and feed all 3

“Physical, mental and spiritual“

But we are told to learn the historical.

Society has told us to fit in a crowd or you will be outcasted and ostracised,

But you’re the main character, no need to hide,

or carry the weight and be victimised.

Following their manual, or you are told

that “you’re not good enough”, leaving you feeling cold.

Learn your own virtues,

but don’t feel pressured to be

This perfect example,

Don't follow the crowd, just believe and follow what makes you happy.

Being at comfort, being at peace

is when you know you have found the missing piece

Being yourself is the ultimate goal

you may not know that now

but it will start to show.

Not talking much is what others fear

But if something is said, it might not be what you want to hear.

We’re all fighting demons,

bare that in mind

A smile is deceiving

so just be kind.

In a dark place, feels like hell

Moments of hope and moments where I rebel.

Went through waves of anxiety,

know that its something you will not see.

We all need to be unconditioned

Meeting paths allowing us all to transition.

Failure is the new success

learn your mistakes, and put that to a test

This creates stability

Teaching lessons that you couldn’t see.

One more thing before I go,

Close this chapter and end it on a note

You are important, be self aware

when a storm comes in, blow some air

Stand on your feet, you got this!

We all have moments where we begin to reminisce.

These are my lessons learnt, you will find your way

But its important to live in the present each day.

Hope this helps, before you are gone

And see you next time, where I will continue to follow on.

P.S

Hope you liked this blog! This time I used a more personal approach based on my own experiences, and observations.

It would be great to hear from you, share your thoughts and what lessons you have learnt that has made you the person you are today.

There might be upsetting content, please do feel free to message me. Also, please like, share and comment on my blog with what you would like to see next!

So whilst I’m celebrating my 22nd, and continuing on finding my way through. Tell me what you guys are up to?

Have a good day!